Shalom, Dear Friends!

Marianna Gol

I am pretty smart. I have always been smart. For many years I was also very proud of being smart as if it was a personal achievement; however, I didn’t do anything to be that way. Nature plus nurture have done it for me. Many years ago while having a terrifying and glorious encounter with the holiness of God, I realized that it’s all just a matter of comparison, and compared to my heavenly Father, I am very, very stupid. Both my cognitive and my emotional intelligence is minimal compared to the One who loves me (apparently not for my smarts). Ever since this realization, I entered a very slow and painful path of learning about how to be ok with often not knowing, not understanding, and not having an opinion (that one is the hardest). Most days I am failing at this. I am not saying that the goal is to rid ourselves of all understanding, every opinion, all discernment — not at all. Just to put those into the perspective of our limitation, our human frailty, and His glory.

In this message I am not going to share my opinions, understandings or my discernment of these days. If you want me to, we can talk. But I want to share a little personal principal that helps me put things into perspective in hope that some of you may find it helpful. I call this principal “so what?”.

In the recent days, I have received more personal words, explanations, and semi or full-blown conspiracy theories than ever before. I feel that if I would watch and read it all, it would become a full time job. I am selective. I am aware of a possibility that even the wildest of conspiracy theories may actually be right. That there may be evil minded people out there, deliberately placing huge numbers of people in mortal danger for the sake their personal, inherently evil agenda. I am more inclined to believe that there are powers and principalities that are now more actively and cunningly using soft hearted and God opposing humanism (so fully trusting in the power of their intellect) to establish a new world order that those powers and principalities plan to easily control. Personally, I see things. I am not indifferent to them. But I ask myself — so what? Much higher than any attempt of the enemy of the human soul to rule and reign, much more powerful than any economic, intellectual or even demonic power out there, is the Father’s passionate desire to exalt the faithful Son and to establish His eternal Kingdom. Whatever is operating by the forces of darkness is being used as yet another vehicle for Glory to completely conquer the Universe.

Yours, Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor,
for everything in heaven and earth is yours.
Yours, Lord, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all.
1 Chronicles 29:11

Years ago I was praying in tears and great fear about a very, very intimidating issue the world was facing then. I remember the Spirit speaking to my heart in a surprising, even shocking way. He said that the authority of the forces I was so afraid of is shallow, and they are much less powerful than what I think. The reason I am so intimidated is because I am afraid of suffering. As I was weeping face down on the floor, I heard a smile in the voice of the Lord and sensed His hand on my back. “I am not afraid of suffering,” He said very gently.

I am afraid of suffering, of loosing things and people; I am afraid of change. I am afraid of poverty, hunger, loss of dignity, of being helpless to elevate human suffering even in the tiniest of measures.

I believe that many developments, insights and ideas scare me (probably all of us) because I am trying to process them intellectually. Calculate plan A, B and C. Measure potential damage and trouble shoot in advance. I do believe that a few of us are called to do exactly this. They have grace to do it in deep peace and profound sense of the Kingdom’s victory. But I am not called in this way. I recall a dialogue from Corrie Ten Boom’s book. Her father says to his frightened daughter that just as she got her train ticket just before boarding the train to Amsterdam, right when she needed it, so the strength and grace to go through a trial will come right as we need it. This is God’s mercy for our frailty. This is the Father’s concern for His little ones. Even if the worst-case scenario out there is absolutely true, it won’t surprise the Creator of the Universe for even a split second! He is prepared. He has me, my family, my loved ones, and my nation in His plan. It doesn’t mean I won’t suffer. But it does mean that in the midst of my pain, I will find grace, strength, wisdom, and powerful presence of the Father’s love and care. I believe I will also find enough there to share. In every possible way.

The Kingdom is approaching. The rules will be changing! This ride is getting faster and faster. The birth pains are going to bring suffering. It’s already here. The only reason I don’t feel it in my every bone is because I have been cushioned by the sedating comfort of the Western world. But the coming Kingdom also brings justice and righteousness, and full restoration of God’s plan for Israel and the Nations. It brings healing and joy, and above all, the full open revelation of His face, His presence, His glory. The King is coming! The One we love is approaching! Maran Ata!

I found more joy, more peace, and more hope in this season that ever before. As a single woman, living on my own, I was afraid of loneliness. But I feel more embraced by Yeshua and experience more care and tenderness from my friends than ever. I was afraid of financial troubles and even though there are some, I am facing them with an uncharacteristic sense of peace and trust. I was afraid that the families we are working with wouldn’t be able to cope, but we see answers for prayer much faster than we did before, and they all seem to be fine. I was afraid that this time of separation would harm the unity of the Body of Messiah, but it seems to be doing just the opposite. The Creator of the Universe is in charge. He is completely trustworthy, and I am fully in His hand.

I am not indifferent to human suffering, especially my own. I am not indifferent to injustice, especially committed against me. But I believe that when I need to board that train, I will find that the ticket is in my pocket. That’s why I can look at the news, read the articles, and talk to people — and when I feel that this is starting to take away my hope, I whisper to myself – So, what! The King is Coming!

Please pray with me:

  1. Maran Ata! Even so come!
  2. Pray for my mother, Sima’s encounter with Yeshua and her healing from very severe kidney disease.
  3. Pray for my financial situation to stay stable through this season.
  4. I need to get another car before this one goes, and presently I can’t afford it. I need either a mechanical or a financial miracle. Any of those will work 🙂
  5. Please, pray for me to remain and grow in His grace, having my eyes fixed on the Blessed Hope.
  6. Pray for the strangers in the Land. Migrant workers and asylum seekers are extremely vulnerable these days.
  7. Please, don’t forget in your prayers abused women and children that are now “stuck” at home with their abusers. May they experience the love and the protection of the Father.

Thank you for your prayers, your support and your friendship!

Marianna Gol
Streams in the Desert

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